I hate the fact that our 3 years of friendship has gone down the drain. I hate the fact that you don't seem to care about saving our friendship that is on the verge of collapsing. I hate the fact that I can't stay angry with you for long, no matter how unreasonable you can get. I hate how you always hesitate when I ask you to accompany me to do something. I hate how you always go off with him without any hesitation. I hate the fact that you're drifting away from me.

We used to be a perfect combination. We had so much in common; funny faces, lame sense of humour, you name it, we have it. We used to be the "2 outcasts" in our new class, we did everything together as a pair. We went to the same classes, took the same subjects and did every class project/discussion together. I thought we were inseparable and I was already looking forward to going into our tertiary education together and maybe even spending our whole life together as the best of friends. But I guess I was wrong.

I dread going to school everyday not because of studies, but because I have to put on a fake smile and act like everything's okay. At the end of the day, you'll ask me, "Where're you going now?" I'll reply, "Going home/have lunch/study, with Rach/prisca/yunxun/deon." You'll feel relieved because you don't have to accompany me and you'll happily go off with you-know-who. I really want to spend some quality best-friend time with you but it seems impossible with your current commitments.

I feel like a parasite. I feel like an outcast. I feel hopeless. I feel desperate. I don't want to keep clinging on to Rach, prisca, yunxun and the rest because they have their other friends as well. I don't want to have to walk over to 4e2 every recess/lunch break/end of the day and ask them where they're going because they need their space as well.

I really don't know what to do now. Should I still cling on to the thin string of hope that you'll change and we'll become the best of friends again, or should I just give up on you and start life afresh?